Knowing my Story

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.

I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.

You absolutely destroyed me, did you know that? But you know what, I just wanna say thank you. I don’t regret meeting you, but I don’t wish you would magically come back into my life again because I believe God gives us someone like this for a reason. Someone who will hurt you a million times, someone who will leave you & not look back. But this person, they will make you a better person in the end. You will come out stronger than ever before and you will be happier without him than you were with him.

You can feel the whole world and still feel lost in it. So many people are in pain — no matter how smart or accomplished — they cry, they yearn, they hurt. But instead of looking down on things, they look up, which is where I should have been looking, too. Because when the world quiets to the sound of your own breathing, we all want the same things: comfort, love and a peaceful heart.

You were nothing but an asshole. You were rude and self-absorbed. And because of that, I’m done. I thought I ruined this, I thought I wasn’t good enough, that you destroyed me. That I missed out. But to be honest, you ruined everything, you always ruin everything. And you will never ever get the satisfaction of knowing that you destroyed me, because you didn’t. I’m stronger now because of this, I’m not stronger because of you. I’m stronger because of what I did. And kid, fuck you. You missed out.